Characters on The Weaponized Trash Panda Collection

Characters on The Weaponized Trash Panda Collection https://weaponizedtrashpanda.com/players/ Recent content in Characters on The Weaponized Trash Panda Collection Hugo en-us Wed, 27 May 2026 19:49:23 -0700 Pip https://weaponizedtrashpanda.com/players/pip/ Wed, 27 May 2026 19:49:23 -0700 https://weaponizedtrashpanda.com/players/pip/ <p>As she walks around the commandeered sidewalks, public parks, unlocked homes, and singular observatory/administrative building that makes up Lumin College in her neon aerobics gear, Pip and her gym bag of doom blend in perfectly with the <em>actual</em> students.</p> <p>Her skills in appraising antiques and paintings <em>easily</em> enable her fencing habit, lifestyle, and her rivalry with <a href="https://weaponizedtrashpanda.com/players/irene/">that damn button thief</a>. Of course, the aforementioned lifestyle has led to a few dead bodies, and Pip comes prepared to make more – specifically via the collapsable chainsaw she keeps in the aforementioned gym bag of doom.</p> Professor Hawthorne https://weaponizedtrashpanda.com/players/professor-hawthorne/ Wed, 27 May 2026 19:38:37 -0700 https://weaponizedtrashpanda.com/players/professor-hawthorne/ <p>Professor of Mythology at Lumin College, Professor Hawthorne’s classes examine what historical contexts may have influenced the myths that were recorded. Adam Smith, Thomas Hobbs, and Immanuel Kant sit beside F.M-P’s anthologies on the bookshelf in their office, all bulging with sticky notes and darkened with smudged pencil annotations.</p> Baron Montichello https://weaponizedtrashpanda.com/players/baron-montichello/ Wed, 27 May 2026 00:00:00 +0000 https://weaponizedtrashpanda.com/players/baron-montichello/ <p>An actual member of aristocracy, he’s known in the community surrounding Lumin College for hosting large festivals that are sometimes culturally relevant and sometimes his own weird BS that people only show up for because they like the free food. He doesn’t do many public appearances apart from these.</p> The weird old lady https://weaponizedtrashpanda.com/players/bisheju/ Mon, 22 Dec 2025 00:00:00 +0000 https://weaponizedtrashpanda.com/players/bisheju/ <p>So far, the only thing known about this overly affectionate old lady is how, in spite of the fact Blair has never seen this woman in her life, she treats her like a beloved grandchild. Oh, there’s clearly <em>some</em> reason for it – that reason just goes unknown for now.</p> Blair https://weaponizedtrashpanda.com/players/blair/ Fri, 12 Dec 2025 00:00:00 +0000 https://weaponizedtrashpanda.com/players/blair/ <p><em>Blair</em>, resident mechanic and master of none, was one of the first members of our motley, still-not-formally-declared investigation crew. She’s got some muscles to her, but is better known for exactly how persistent she is when the going gets rough – and how out of place she can be at times, what with growing up in a small town.</p> <p>She lives in student housing with <a href="https://weaponizedtrashpanda.com/players/damien">Damien</a>, <a href="https://weaponizedtrashpanda.com/players/irene">Irene</a>, <a href="https://weaponizedtrashpanda.com/players/luca">Luca</a>, and at least 1 other housemate.</p> Damien LetherHart https://weaponizedtrashpanda.com/players/damien/ Fri, 12 Dec 2025 00:00:00 +0000 https://weaponizedtrashpanda.com/players/damien/ <p><em>Damien LetherHart</em>, resident half-elf (and half-<em>dragon</em>) cult leader, could be safely declared as a founding member of our motely investigation crew. He has dark skin, luxurous hair, and a rather unfortunate propensity for scales (at least according to Tezera’s traditional beauty standards). He is genuinely not a pimp, he just really likes dressing as one.</p> <p>He lives in student housing with <a href="https://weaponizedtrashpanda.com/players/blair">Blair</a>, <a href="https://weaponizedtrashpanda.com/players/irene">Irene</a>, <a href="https://weaponizedtrashpanda.com/players/luca">Luca</a>, and at least 1 other housemate.</p> <p>Personality-wise, he is suprisingly reasonable for a man who leads a cult worshipping Inconvenience. This does not mean he won’t join in on the chaos, simply that he is remarkably sane for a cult leader, and is in fact <em>not</em> the craziest member of this group… at least under normal circumstances. He also has a distinctive penchant for milkshakes.</p> David Moth https://weaponizedtrashpanda.com/players/dave/ Fri, 12 Dec 2025 00:00:00 +0000 https://weaponizedtrashpanda.com/players/dave/ <p><em>David Moth</em>, resident voice of “why is this happening to meeeee”, was dragged into the investigation crew when <a href="https://weaponizedtrashpanda.com/players/damien">Damien</a> called in a favor during <a href="https://weaponizedtrashpanda.com/campaign-diaries/kotcow">King of the City of Wine</a>. He is a basketball player turned track star, with curly hair, a slightly-smaller-than-average phisyque, and lanky arms and legs that just scream “Ehlers-Danlos”. Nobody’s entirely sure why (or how) he knows so much about nature. Also, you should just call him Dave.</p> Jeff https://weaponizedtrashpanda.com/players/jeff/ Fri, 12 Dec 2025 00:00:00 +0000 https://weaponizedtrashpanda.com/players/jeff/ <p><em>Jeff</em>, the resident psychic doctor and optimized brawler, joined the lives of the investigation crew during the mall incident. I am still not entirely sure what he looks like, just that he may be a genuine psychopath.</p> <p>He is friends with <a href="https://weaponizedtrashpanda.com/players/damien">Damien</a>, goes to school at Lumin, and lives in Magonia with the rest of the investigators.</p> <p>Personality-wise, he is the main reason <a href="https://weaponizedtrashpanda.com/players/irene">Irene</a> does not hold the title of “craziest investigator”. His player, upon reviewing his character sheet before the second session, was flabberghasted by how quickly things had gotten out of hand – this is not to say his behavior won’t continue to get worse.</p> The Homeless Guy https://weaponizedtrashpanda.com/players/charles/ Fri, 12 Dec 2025 00:00:00 +0000 https://weaponizedtrashpanda.com/players/charles/ <p>Is generally weird. Obviously off his rocker, but he might know something? Also, he was pretty high that one time he told everyone not to trust the muppet, just saying…</p> Irene Lloyseaux https://weaponizedtrashpanda.com/players/irene/ Sat, 25 Jan 2025 00:00:00 +0000 https://weaponizedtrashpanda.com/players/irene/ <p><em>Irene Lloyseaux</em>, resident button-kleptomaniac and Francophile, was one of the first members of our motley, still-not-formally-declared investigation crew. She is tall and imposing, with long wavy red hair (<em>always</em> under a beret), green eyes, fair skin, and a suprisingly innocent face for a serial murderer.</p> <p>She lives in student housing with <a href="https://weaponizedtrashpanda.com/players/blair">Blair</a>, <a href="https://weaponizedtrashpanda.com/players/damien">Damien</a>, <a href="https://weaponizedtrashpanda.com/players/luca">Luca</a>, and at least 1 other housemate.</p> <p>Personality-wise, she is best described as “an acquired taste”. She is loud, with a propensity for fixating on nearby buttons, corpses, and French pamperphenalia. Remarkably, most people only notice how odd she is <em>after</em> she’s left.</p> Luca https://weaponizedtrashpanda.com/players/luca/ Fri, 20 Dec 2024 00:00:00 +0000 https://weaponizedtrashpanda.com/players/luca/ <p>Housemate of the investigators. Cleaned up the corpse in <a href="https://weaponizedtrashpanda.com/campaign-diaries/wyhmhab">Will you Help me Hide a Body</a>, but did not commit the murder (which is still technically unsolved). An especially short gnome with bleached, coily hair, dark skin, and an especially pessimistic attiude toward things.</p>